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They can laugh and exchange wits and, yes, even drive in a car together without anybody thinking anything dubious is happening. Honestly, I don’t get embarrassed talking about much. They can talk to each other without there being ulterior motives. Thus began a journey to know God and understand life; a journey from bondage to grace; a journey she’s still making. At age 17 she fell in love with her best friend and her perfect little formulated world came crashing down. Instead, we will teach our children to love God with all that they have, all that they are; and to love and respect others as they love themselves. You can do everything “wrong” and still be blessed. We will not be passing on these things to the next generation. Maybe time is the only cure, and I need to be more patient with myself. I have talked with literally hundreds of alumni my age, and I am not exaggerating the extent of the issue. This is one dysfunction that I really wish I could be freed from. When you choose to love, you are choosing to accept risking a broken heart. Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen (Hebrews 11:1). We build neat little formulas and say “THIS will keep me safe! Thanks to those good intentions, we are seeing an entire generation of homeschool alumni who have no idea how to have normal relationships.
Students who have survived Gothardism tend to end up at a wide variety of places on the spiritual and theological spectrum, thus the diversity of opinions expressed on this website reflects that. Darcy is a seeker, Jesus-lover, and a bit of a rebel.
I realize that using Play Therapy based language is a learned and practiced skill that requires time and effort, so I thought it would be helpful to share ten commonly used phrases parents say to their kids.
I will also give the Play Therapy based alternative with a short explanation of why it is more effective.
Kids hear the word “no” far too frequently (Read more about that here).
You can always rephrase the sentence from a negative to a positive, which will correct the behavior without sounding critical.